Parlay-vus Franglais? A Guide to Making Yourself Understood in France BSDA of GB 2001 Year Book

Now that many people are travelling to France to visit the French shows, we thought it timely to offer this essential guide to getting around. Whilst many French people appear to have a limited command of English, if you speak slowly and distinctly, and above all, SHOUT, you should be able to make yourself understood by everyone. As a simple guide to this we give below some of the more useful phrases you are likely to need.

	Do you speak English? EEN–GLISH, EEN–GLISH (you know, JON–NY–WAL–KA, BEE–TLES,  SPICE GIRLS...)?
	Can you recommend a cheap hotel? Ou et un hotel beaucoup de cheap?
	Do you know where Bridget Bardot lives? Ou et la maison de BRI–GIT BAR–DOT?
	Is there a night club near here? MOO–LAN ROUGE siv ous platte... Le CAN–CAN... GIRLS?
	Have you got anything for a hang-over? Avay vus quelque HANG–OVER siv ous platte... le tet de thumping?
	Can you show me the way to the dog show please? Ou et le SHOW–DE–CHIENS siv ous platte?
	I’am English – do I still have to pay to come in? EEN–GLEESH – non payee, non payee, EEN–GLEESH!!
	Which class are they on? Quel class is dis?
	The dogs here are almost as good as we get in England Les dogs ici, presque as bon as England... ENG–LEESH BET–TER.
	Why is he taking so long? Pourquoi le judge so tray slow?
	Who won that class? Qui won cette class?
	That judge needs a guide dog! Cette judge besson le chien de guide!
	Why are those people fighting? Pourquoi les hommes FIST–EE–CUFFS?
	Should we call the police? JEN–DARMES... vite... 999...
	Can you direct me to the refreshments please? MacDonalds...? Burger-King...? FISSSH–UN–CHIPS...? VIN–DE–LOO?
	Do you take English currency? REEL–MONEY... POUNDS... sterling, avec le head de Queen, BANK–OF–ENG–LAND!!
	Excuse me, there was a snail in my salad – can I have a replacement please. Excusay-moi, mon salad wos avec le snail... LE–SNAIL!! Avay-vu un replacement sans snail – or je callay les jendarmes plus quick – pronto!
	Is there a beer tent at the show? Ou et le BEER–TENT...? Marquay de beer?
	Can I have seventeen lagers and a whiskey chaser please? Je voudray SEV–EN–TEEEEN beers et un WHIS–KEEEY chaseur siv ous platte?
	In England I am a Lord! Dans England je suis un Lord... habitay un grand maison!
	I am a friend of the Spice Girls Je suis un amis de femmes de spice
	Do you have stronger beer than this? Avay-vu un beer plus stronger – dis resemblay NATTS–PEE!!
	How do you fancy Liverpool’s chances in the European Cup? LIV–ER–POOL... LIV–ER–POOL... LIV–ER–POOL...
Useful Words:
	beefburger  le burger de boeuf (sans BSE siv ous platte) beer le beer bus station le station de bus chip butty le sanwich de frys Francais... le CHEEPS au panne coke le CO–CO–COLA curry le VIN–DE–LOO duty free le DOO–TEE–FREE, sans taxes, DOO–TEE–FREE goodbye bon bye  hamburger le burger de ham headache pills le AS–PRIN... AN–O–DIN hello ello hotdog le chien de chaud no thankyou non non passport le pass de port sandwich le sandwich de panne... le BEE–EL–TEE train station le station de train whiskey le WHIS–KEEEY yes please wee wee